Friday, July 23, 2010

I got schooled by the dove man.

I was one-upped at my own game. I'm impressed. Touche, Captain. Touche.

WHITE DOVES trained to return home (NE Florida)

Date: 2010-07-21, 12:24AM EDT
Reply to:


Birthdays, Weddings, Funerals, and even a make a wish date dove release. Very low prices. This is a craft that takes years to facilitate. Don't get caught up with the low lifes that take stray white birds and send them to certain death without being trained. White Bird Releases. com is here because we take great care in training our birds to race home. This harnesses the normal ability of a homing bird to haul boogy back to safety of home and family or mate. Retired military, this is what I do. I am proud of the service provided and happy to extend the privilege of the flight of these birds to you. Give me a call for any questions. Captain xxxxxxxxx

My email to the Captain:
Do your birds, by chance, carry messages? I want to break up with my girlfriend and I think having a letter brought to her by a dove would be a sweet way to end 4 years of abuse and torture from that woman. Please let me know asap. I can't take much more of her crap, so the sooner, the better.
J. Dimsmore

Captain's response to me:
Tell ya what mate, we can make a video and send it to her that you set a bird free... I'll even narrate a video with me or me in it addressing her that you are releasing her devil spirit ass. It's what the release means to you is how it is defined. A release can be your closure. I'll publish a video for the world to see and do a full scale production for ya for $150. Lets hook up and I'll write something real nice and deliver the harpoon. She apparently does not appreciate you so let's get on with it and exclude her from your life. Call me mate it's too easy. This requires about 4-5 hours of time so it'll be $150, you'll be proud of it and I can send it from a blackbag location if you want. Standing by to commence operation get Fu%@!*d Biotch. Make 5 Operations out. 904-xxx-xxxx.


There are no words.

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