Let's see how my garage sale copy goes...

Garage Sale at OAKLEAF NEXT SATURDAY 4/24 - $1 (642 wakeview Date: 2010-04-17, 8:37PM EDT
Reply to: sale-hnw7y-1697398008@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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We will have a garage sale next saturday the 24th...we have men's clothes , woman clothes, girls teen ager clothes, boys 8-12 clothes, shoes shoes shoes and more shoes from $1....old fashion pressure washer, office furnitures and desks and chairs! many figurines!!! area rugs,battery car booster,and many many more!!! come check us out starting from 8am- 2pm...i will have signs!!!

me to garage sale queen:
Hello Neighbor,
I live quite near you, and unfortunately, I'm going to have to ask you to postpone your garage sale for another time, perhaps next month. This Saturday (4/24) I am hosting my annual world class garage sale. I expect hundreds of buyers from near and far, and cannot have them confusing my garage sale for yours. I am having an open bar and a string quartet, you are more than welcome to come by and enjoy a glass of wine and some lovely music. Thanks for your help.

Sincerely,
Jake Dimsmore

J ****** to me
where will your garage sale be at?

Me to J ******
On Wakeview just past Worthington Oaks. Once again, I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm sure you understand that my world class garage sale is a rather important event. There will be visitors from all over the region, and as lovely as your garage sale will be with the fine $1 items you're offering, I just can't take the chance that someone will mistake your much lesser known garage sale for my world class garage sale. Thanks again.
JD
J****** to me
I understand! I'll postpone mine til next saturday. what are you selling that make your garage sale world class if you don't mind me asking?

Me to J ******
Mostly bird baths, for starters. Attached is one I recently acquired, sure to be a bestseller. Miniature grills, homemade windchimes. You'd be amazed by how many people adore homemade beer & soda can wind chimes. It's inspiring to see how many people are enthusiasts about recycling. I'll let you in on a little secret though, since you were so kind as to postpone your little event in honor of my world class garage sale. I recently talked my wife's mother and my grandmother into moving into "homes" and allowing me to distribute their things amongst family members, but for the most part I'm going to be selling their things, so plan on seeing lots of vintage jewelry, handbags, least 1 motorized wheelchair. My mother-in-law worked on a design team with Coco Chanel and has a lot of stuff that looks really valuable, so I imagine it will sell very nicely. I've advertised from Orlando to Charleston. You can't miss it. In fact, I'll give you a 5% discount on any item under $50 if you mention this email.

Cordially,
Jake

J****** to me:
how come I don't see any adds from you about your garage sale on craigslist?

Me to J******:
Well, no offense, but I advertise in garage sale periodicals, not on craigslist. If you want to hold a world class garage sale, you have to use world class advertising.